Let Me Let Go
by SebastianSohmaMichaelis
Summary: Have you ever loved someone so much, you were afraid to let them go? For Damien Maslin, Jack Twist is his whole world. Even in the face of tragedy, Damien and Jack's love remains strong and true. But how long can this go on? How long can Damien's heart bear to see the suffering their relationship endures? Damien must find a way to let go of Jack before the viscous cycle never ends
1. Tulsa, Oklahoma 1805

Tulsa, Oklahoma 1805

I sighed happily. The warm sun shone through the windows of the school house, illuminating the pages of my school book. I paid strict attention to our school teacher and the lesson she was teaching us for the day but I still couldn't help but to glance at the boy sitting next to me. I'm getting ahead of myself, my name is Damien Maslin. I'm seventeen years old and I attend school in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It's not the most exciting place in the world to grow up but it has been my home for as long as I can remember. Its repulsive stagnancy may be the reason most folks would rather move away from Tulsa instead of coming in but it held a certain charm for me.

I couldn't imagine why but no matter how many times I looked at the seat next to me, I always felt a new jolt of felicity. My new best friend, Jack Twist, sat next to me day in and day out. He was very sweet, amiable, and an all around wonderful person. He and I talked often under the shade of the beautiful oak tree on the school house's main yard during the interval of time when the younger students came for their daily lessons. When the bell rang for dismissal, Jack found me under our same oak tree, scribbling away on my sketch pad.

"What are you drawing Damien?" He asked me.

I put down my utensil and lifted my pad to show him the landscape of the school house, complete with our special tree. "Just some landscapes for the time being. I anticipate a future in drawing people but I haven't gotten there yet."

Jack giggled. "Somebody has been reading ahead in English lessons." He stopped giggling and patted my shoulder. "You'll get there Damien, you're an amazing artist."

I smiled warmly. "Thank you very much Jack."

"Damien." A booming male voice called from down the road.

"It's my father." I said to Jack. "I'll see you tomorrow Jack."

"Goodbye Damien." He called, resting against the tree in the spot I had just vacated. I climbed into Father's wagon and waved goodbye to Jack. I sunk down into the wagon and pulled my knees up to my chest as a makeshift easel for my sketch pad.

"Who was that lad you were talking with Damien?" Father asked me, pushing the horses to hasten.

"Jack Twist Sir. He recently arrived in Tulsa and he attends school with me."

"I've heard some things about that boy. A lot of the folks around here are uneasy by his presence."

"What do you mean Sir?" I asked.

"They say that boy is not…normal."

"Who's to say what is normal and what is abnormal Father? The people have nothing to fear about Jack. He's…" Damien chose his words carefully.

"He's what Damien? Out with it boy."

"He's…a good friend." The conversation was ceased as the wagon creaked and cluttered all the way home. I wiped my boots on the porch and walked inside. I hung my hat on the rack by the door and set my satchel on the floor. "I'm home Mother."

"Oh I'm so glad to hear that my sweet Damien. Come in and greet our company." Mother called from the sitting room.

"Company?" It was that moment that I heard the voices accompanying Mother's. I would recognize that detestable voice anywhere; it was that awful Mrs. Barkley. I could practically hear her sipping at her tea cup from two rooms away. I sauntered into the sitting room and found Mrs. Barkley and her daughter Rosaline.

"Damien, my darling, come here and kiss your mother." She beckoned me over, offering me her left cheek. I took her by the hand, kissed her cheek and sat down next to her. "Did you enjoy your lessons today my son?"

"Yes Mother." I said. "Good day to you ladies." I replied to our guests.

"So this is your handsome Damien you go on and on about." Mrs. Barkley cooed.

"This is my son Damien Michael Maslin, our first born." Mother was currently with child as well and she and Father were ecstatic.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Damien." Mrs. Barkley greeted. "And this is my lovely, talented daughter Rosaline. Say hello daughter."

"Hello." She said. Something about her seemed as if she was surrounded by an aura of snobbery. I was immediately put-off by her but I was still polite in my greeting.

"It's a pleasure to meet such…lovely ladies as yourself."

"I'm sure." Rosaline said.

"So, instead of spending all night talking, why don't we gather around the dining table and we'll have Drisella bring out some dinner." Father suggested. He signaled for me to escort Rosaline, three feet across the floor, into the dining room. But he was my father, and I had no choice in the matter. I offered Rosaline my hand and she seemed content enough to comply. She took my hand and lifted her skirt as she rose from the couch. I took her over to a seat at the table and pulled out the chair for her to sit. My father nodded his head in approval and seated my mother on the right side of the table. Drisella, the handmaid, brought out tray after tray of food and placed it before us on the table.

"Thank you Drisella." I thanked her.

"You thank the help?" Rosaline asked in disbelief, taking a sip of her water.

I cleared my throat. "Well, she works very hard and…I thought she deserved to be thanked." I simply said.

"Pay no attention to Damien. We taught him to be polite." Mother said.

"Apparently we taught him too well." Father joked. I bit my tongue and repressed my anger and embarrassment while I ate my food. Drisella smiled at me from across the table; at least someone appreciated me. "So, Mrs. Barkley, won't you share with us a little more about yourself?"

She swallowed the gigantic bite she shoved into her mouth, which didn't seem very "lady-like" or "classy" if you asked me, before she answered. "My husband recently passed on. My daughter and I are all alone in our estate and left only with the money my dear late husband left behind."

I tried so desperately to ignore this conversation. "That sounds very unfortunate." Father said.

"So, I thought it best to marry my daughter off and allow her to live her own life." I began choking on my food when I heard "marry" come out of that wretched woman's mouth.

"Damien sweetheart, are you alright?" Mother asked.

"Chew your food next time Damien." Father scolded, stuffing more potatoes into his mouth.

"Excuse me but um…" I said after I managed to catch my breath and stop coughing. "What did you say?" I asked.

"I said I am hoping to marry off my daughter." Mrs. Barkley looked at me with the utmost displeasure.

"Father? What is going on?"

"Well my boy, you're betrothed."

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Damien, we shall discuss this at a later venue. For right now, we have two lovely dinner guests and this conversation is not appropriate dining table banter." Father continued to chat to Mrs. Barkley for the remainder of the meal; mostly about her vast fortune she pertained and the end of Mr. Barkley. Rosaline delicately picked at her food as if she was barely interested in anything.

I could not believe this was happening. No one had dared to ask if I wanted to be engaged to a woman like her. What could possibly motivate my father to wed me without even telling me about it? I felt so sick in the stomach that I excused myself from the dinner table. Mother asked me to return shortly to bid our guests farewell. I stormed out of the house and walked down the walkway. I had no intention of going anywhere; all I knew was that I wanted to be somewhere alone and draw in peace.

I found my way back to the school house. Mrs. Snow never locked the school house so it was no surprise the door willingly opened to me. I lit one of the lanterns and pulled my sketch pad out from my satchel. I slammed it down on my desk and drew with ferocity. A hand stopped my tedious pace, startling me half to death. But when I gazed into the eyes of the one standing next to me, I recognized Jack Twist. "Jack?" I asked. "What are you doing here?"

He sat down next to me in his usual seat. "I could ask you the same thing Damien. Something's wrong isn't it?"

I fixed my gaze on my paper once more and scribbled a few more lines on the horse I was drawing. "That means something is wrong." Jack confirmed. "I can always tell when something is wrong with you so you might as well just tell me." He reasoned. I sighed heavily and spilled my heart.

"My father."

"What about him?"

I looked Jack in the eyes once more. "He's forcing me to get married to this wretched woman's daughter and I just…I can't believe he had the audacity to just…arrange it without my knowledge."

"He told you tonight didn't he? That's why he was eager to pick you up today." Jack concluded.

"Yes. In front of my supposed "bride-to-be." How could he do that to me?" I asked in disbelief. "I mean, what kind of person arranges his only son to be married to girl he doesn't even know at seventeen? I've got my whole life ahead of me and yet I'm being forced to settle down. What is he thinking? How could he just…"

"Damien, Damien!" Jack said, trying so hard to break through my tangent. "You're ruining your drawing." I looked down and saw that I had drawn strange scribbles all over what was supposed to be the horse's muzzle, making him look fuzzier than I intended. I tried to fix it but the point was moot; I had destroyed my art in my fit of anger, I should've been ashamed of myself. "Damien, you should say no if you want to."

"What?"

"You should follow your heart. If your heart says that you don't want to marry for riches, then you should speak up."

"How do you know my father is marrying me off for wealth?"

Jack smiled at me. "Damien, you can't be so naive. The Barkley's are the richest family in Tulsa. Surely your father had some incredible assets to arrange such a marriage."

"How is it that you were able to see that and I couldn't?" I asked. Jack placed his hand on my mine, forcing me to look at him.

"Perhaps it is because I'm a lot farther from the situation. I hear that you can gain a whole new perspective from further away." I smiled at Jack's pitiful attempt to cheer me up. I looked at the school house's clock and bid Jack farewell. When he asked for a reason, I gave him Mother's orders to be home to escort Rosaline to her carriage; just like the proper gentleman my parents wanted me to be. That night, I pondered over what Jack said to me at the school house. In my heart, I knew that I did not feel anything for Rosaline nor would I. But, my heart was also telling me that I didn't want to disappoint my mother or father. In the end, I ultimately decided to court Rosaline for the time being.

I treated her to a stroll through the park. She wore her Sunday best, as did I, and she opened her umbrella to shield her delicate hair and skin from the sun's penetrating rays. I offered her my arm to grab a hold and we were off. The stroll turned into the quietest and most awful stroll I had ever taken. Rosaline didn't breathe a word; she only fanned herself in complete irritation. "So, Rosaline," I tried to engage her in friendly small talk. "Are you enjoying Tulsa?"

"It's far too dry." She complained.

My smile didn't falter, though my patience was. "You really should visit in the fall. We have a lot more rain and the leaves are just breathtaking."

"You don't have to pretend you know." She said.

"Pretend?" I asked, playing coy. Did she really see through my resolve?

"I am not any more pleased that we are engaged than you seem to be."

"And why is that my lady?" I hated the taste of those words on the way out.

"Needless to say, you are not the choice I would make for my husband any more than I would be your choice for your wife."

"May I inquire as to why that is?" I asked her.

She sighed, impatient. "My heart belongs to another but my father did not approve so naturally my mother decided to wed me to someone of equal stature. Even so, I do not approve of my mother's choice. It has nothing to do with you personally Damien; you seem to be a perfect gentleman. But as I said, my heart belongs to another."

For the first time since I begun courting Rosaline, I smiled. "Why don't you refuse your mother?"

"For the same reason you won't refuse your mother and father I suppose." She sighed again, continuously fanning herself. Surely the weather wasn't that hot or humid. A bright figure moved toward us in that moment and I had to shield my eyes from the sun to determine who it was.

"Jack?" I asked astonished.

"Good day Damien." Jack greeted me.

"Rosaline, this is my good friend Jack Twist. We attend school together."

"A pleasure." Rosaline said.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well my lady." Jack said. "Damien, you must see the pond. There are many ducks around and they are even coming close to you." He held up a loaf of bread. "I found this is in the dumpster behind the baker's shop; perhaps the ducks will like it."

"Rosaline, would you like to walk by the pond with us?" I asked her.

"Fine, I have nothing better to do." Rosaline sat by herself on a bench, still fanning herself, while Jack and I tossed bread pieces to the ducks. I giggled hysterically when Jack nearly fell into the pond; the shock on his face was too hilarious for words. Jack and I frolicked together by the pond, giggling and chasing the ducks into the water. Rosaline paid us no mind and I was grateful for the alone time with Jack. In my heart, I knew that I would be disappointing my parents if they found out I was ignoring my bride to frolic with my best friend. But, something in the moment, I didn't know what, but something about it felt so right. If I was being honest with my heart, I would say that I was falling for Jack Twist.


	2. A Confession As True As Love

A Confession As True As Love

The spring air was lovely today. Something about a warm breeze sent tingles up my spine and tickled my skin. I took in a deep breath of the beautiful spring day, enjoying the scent of the roses in the bed bordering the sidewalk. I gazed at the trees swaying slightly to and fro in time with the flowers.

"It's such a lovely day, don't you think?" I asked Rosaline, who was clinging to my arm during our afternoon stroll.

"I've never known a boy your age so interested in the weather Damien." She commented.

"I'm just…attempting to make polite conversation." I said. "Are you not enjoying the weather?"

She fanned herself under her umbrella that threatened to attack me in the eye every time we took a step. "It's much too warm."

"If you think it's warm now, wait until this summer." I joked. I chuckled to myself and looked at Rosaline's expression; it was as cold as ice, absolutely no expression on her face what so ever. I stopped my foolish chuckling and kept my thoughts my own. She was a proper debutante, I gave her that much. There really wasn't anything appealing about her; she was spoiled, snobby, and downright…distasteful. My father couldn't pick a suitable fiancée if she actually presented herself with a ring and a sign bearing "Suitable Wife". This was going to be a miserable lifetime but I had no choice in the matter anymore than I did when she showed up in my sitting room with her dreadful mother.

I saw a small food cart in the park and led Rosaline over to it. I gave the vendor some money for two apples and handed one to Rosaline. We sat together on a park bench and chewed on our apples. Rosaline was not providing much conversation so I gazed out at the park in front of us. I saw families playing ball together, kicking it back and forth, and laughing. I missed those days with my parents; when I looked forward to going to the park with them and spending all day with them. I sighed internally and then out of the corner of my eye, I found someone very familiar. It was Jack Twist.

Jack was dressed in his casual trousers, the same type he wore to school every day. His shirt had a low collar and his chest straps were a charming red color. He was accompanied by a giant sheepdog. In his hand, Jack held something small and round in his hand as he pet the floppy eared mongrel. He tossed the object away from the dog and the dog obediently followed it. Jack clapped his hands while he waited for the creature to return the ball to him. When the dog trotted back, Jack took the slippery ball out of the dog's mouth and praised it with hugs and kisses.

The whole thing was so adorable to watch; Jack was so happy with that fluffy creature and it was obvious that the dog felt for him the same. I looked over at Rosaline who was gently nibbling at her apple. At this point, I had two options; stay and please the fiancée I didn't sign up for, or play with my best friend.

"Rosaline, would you excuse me? I forgot I had made plans today. I left the wagon where we entered the park. Allow me to escort you there and you may drive home for the afternoon."

She sighed. "Fine." I took her hand and escorted her back to the wagon. I kissed her cheek and wished her a good day. The moment she left, I raced back to where Jack was still playing fetch with his dog. I huffed and puffed when I finally reached him. Jack looked up at me, startled to find me running in the park towards him.

"Damien? Why are you out of breath?" Jack asked me, standing up to face me.

"I…was…just…jogging." I lied.

"Damien, are you sure that's what you were doing?" Jack asked me.

"You're seeing right through me aren't you?" I smiled.

"Actually I saw you with…your fiancée. I've been watching you watching me." Jack smiled. Blood rushed to his cheeks, illuminating his face. He was a good blusher.

"What? What makes you think that?…I wasn't watching you. I just noticed that you were here." I tried so hard to think of something better than that but I couldn't.

"Damien, come on." Jack said.

"Okay fine so I'm transparent and a bad liar. I was watching you. What's the big deal?" I could feel my cheeks getting warmer and I turned away from Jack.

"No big deal. I already told you that I was watching you too. You seemed really disappointed."

I sighed. "I have nothing in common with this girl. I don't understand why my father thinks she would be a good wife. I can't see this being a good idea." I sat down on the grass Indian-style folding my hands in my lap.

Jack sat down next to me. "Then why can't you tell your father that you changed your mind? That you can't do this?"

"I can't tell my father anything. He doesn't understand me. I think all he cares about is being wealthy again."

"And that's not what you want."

"Of course it isn't. I don't care about being wealthy again. I just don't want to marry someone that I don't love. But I can't disappoint my father and I have no choice."

Jack sighed. "It seems rather unfair Damien."

I snorted. "You have no idea Jack." I shoved my shoulder into his and smiled at him. He returned my smile, sending warm feelings all around me. Jack was a great person to talk to. No matter what it was, Jack could always cheer me up and make me feel special. No one made me feel the way Jack did; he was my best friend and the best man I ever met. Jack invited me to meet his dog Max. Max seemed friendly with me, almost as if he trusted me too. The three of us played in the park until the afternoon transformed into early evening.

"I have to go now Jack." I suddenly said, rising from my knees while Max heavily protested.

"Must you go now Damien? We were having so much fun together." Jack whined.

"I know, I almost don't want it to end. But alas, my parents will be very worried if I am not home before dark. And then I will earn a sound lashing for leaving my "fiancée" in a lurch." I said fiancée with a certain distaste; I don't think I would ever warm up to the idea that she will stand opposite of me on the altar.

"Well maybe we could meet tomorrow evening." Jack suggested. "The creek behind the school house is very secluded and private. Your father won't be able to bother us there."

I smiled warmly. "Sure thing. I'll sneak down after dinner tomorrow night. Meet me at the school house and we'll make a run for the creek."

"Sounds like a….a good idea." Jack said. He grew uncomfortable and allowed his eyes to wander to the ground. He folded his hands behind his back and blushed as red as the roses.

"See you tomorrow night Jack." I said, turning to leave the park.

"See you tomorrow Damien." That night, I lay in bed and relived my day with Jack. We were so care free; I wished every day could be like that.

During afternoon tea, Father informed me that I would have no need to escort Rosaline today; she and her mother were going on a trip to the nearest village to plan the ceremony. I couldn't care less about the reason; all I knew was that I was going to be able to see Jack after all tonight. My palms grew sweaty and my stomach turned; why did I feel that way? Jack. And I think I knew why.

Drisella commented on my odd behavior after dinner in the kitchen that night. "You seem jumpy tonight boy. Is there something troublin you?" She had asked, scrubbing away the leftovers of our meal.

"No Drisella. In fact, I feel prodigious."

"You feel what boy? Speak English a'fore I keel hall ya into the river." She warned.

"It means to feel wonderful, spectacular, good. I'm meeting a friend tonight for a…time to…you know….spend time with…with a friend." I struggled with that sentence. If I had said anything remotely resembling the "d" word, I would be strung up by my britches and tried for witchcraft and blasphemy.

"Have a good time Damien. You come in late though, ya Pa gave me permission to spank ya. So don't make me do it."

"Alright Drisella. I shall return before the moon is full, I promise." I grabbed my satchel and snuck outside. Mother and Father had gone to bed for the night and did not notice my absence. I hustled for the school house and found Jack, sitting anxiously by our tree. When he saw me coming down the road, he jumped from his spot and ran to meet me. He seemed unsure of what to do so he shook my hand and led me behind the school house. There nested a narrow path leading down the creek. We walked down the path, silent as the grave. Neither one of us knew what to say to one another nor did we know what we were doing.

The rumbling of the creek rang crystal clear in my ear. Without thinking, I grabbed Jack's hand and ran with him down to the mouth of the creek. I stopped and gazed at the black waters, the peaceful serenity overwhelmed me. I took in a deep breath of the night air, breathing in the scent of the oak trees and rushing water. Jack cleared his throat and that is when I noticed that I was still holding his hand. I laughed nervously and dropped his hand, bringing mine to the back of my head. I couldn't believe I did that but I could've sworn that Jack was blushing in the moonlight.

"Come on Jack. Let's get in the water." I encouraged.

"But, I can't swim." Jack admitted.

I laughed. "That's okay Jack. See? The water is far too shallow; you'll be able to stand in the water. Come on silly." I took his hand and pulled him into the creek. He looked like he wanted to scream but we both knew if they heard us, we would be done for. Jack lifted the bottoms of his trousers, to keep them from getting wet, and he slowly made his way into the creek still holding my hand. When he finally made it into the water, he didn't let go of my hand nor did I want him to. Jack tripped over a rock but I caught him and held him up. He looked up into my eyes and we just held each other for a moment.

Jack blushed even more than before. He looked down at his hands resting on my shoulders. "Thanks Damien."

"N..no problem." I cleared my throat and separated us. "Come on, let's go further up the creek. We can catch some fish." I led Jack up the creek a ways and searched for fish under the glossy waves of the creek running passed us. I pointed one out to Jack and tried to catch it with my hands. I made a huge splash and came out empty handed. I looked over at Jack and saw that he had taken the crossfire of my attack on the fish.

Jack smiled and splashed me right back, soaking the front of my shirt. I wasn't going to take that sitting down; we started a splashing battle. Every time he splashed me, I came right back with full force sending huge splashes his way. We were both soaked from head to toe by the time Jack held his hands up in surrender. Jack was the first to leave the water, shaking off his shirt and taking his overall straps off of his shoulders in the process.

I rung out my own shirt and sat down next to a tree. Jack found me and sat down next to me. I felt around the ground for where I put my satchel down. When I finally found it, I set it in my lap and dug around for the leftover rolls Drisella made for dinner tonight. I offered one to Jack and he took it gratefully. We ate our bread in silence; I talk to Jack on a regular basis, why do I find myself unable to find something to talk about when we are all alone?

"I'm really glad we decided to do this." Jack said. "I can't remember the last time I had this much fun."

I smiled. "I only have this much fun with you." I blurted out.

"What do you mean Damien?"

"Well, you already know that I have a fiancée who is cold as ice. I don't have much fun with either of my parents anymore either. You're the only one I can turn to and I feel like I can tell you anything."

"I feel the same way Damien. My father died when I was a little kid. It's been just me and my mother and she's too depressed to even ask if there is something I want to do."

"I'm sorry to hear about your father Jack." I said.

"Thanks Damien. You know, you're the first person I ever told that to. You must be pretty special." Jack winked at me. I don't know what overcame me but I ignored the sweating of my palms and the butterflies in my stomach.

"Jack, I think I know why I can't get along with my fiancée."

"Besides the fact that she's a cold fish?" Jack teased, taking another bite of bread.

"Jack, the truth is that I'm attracted to someone else. I think it may even go beyond attraction, in fact I'm certain of it. I'm in love with someone else."

"Then why don't you tell your father that you're in love with someone else? It sounds really simple Damien." Jack said.

"Because…everyone in town knows my family and if they found out who I was in love with, I would be tried for sin against God and God only knows what else."

Understanding was starting to creep its way onto Jack's face but he asked anyway, "Damien, are you…?"

"Yes. I'm attracted to boys. I think deep down I've known all along but I've kept it in for so long and I've never told anyone before."

"Damien," Jack took a deep breath and continued. "I am too."

"You are?" I asked with disbelief. "But what about the time you dated Sarah Ballard? She really liked you."

"I only went out with her because I didn't know how to say no. But I never felt anything for her. I felt horrible for breaking up with her but I couldn't take it any longer. And besides, there was someone else I was in love with."

"Oh." I should've known.

"Damien, it's you."

I looked up at Jack's face. There wasn't a sign of mockery or counterfeit; he was sincere and serious. "Jack, are you…really in love with me?"

"Of course I am Damien. You're smart, caring, kind, warm, gentle, and you were the first real friend I've had since my mother and I moved here." He smiled warmly at me, taking my hand in his. But then he suddenly let go and dropped his head. "I feel silly for confessing this to you when you said you've already fallen for someone else but I'm glad I told you about me liking men."

"Jack. The one I love is you too." I confessed.

Jack's head snapped up and hope filled his eyes. "You're..you're just saying that."

"No Jack. I mean it. You're the one I think of when I open my eyes in the morning and the one I think of when I close my eyes in the evening. When I'm around you, I get nervous, my palms sweat, and there are butterflies in my stomach. You're sweet, gentle, and so full of life. You brighten every room you walk into and you always put a smile on my face. I'm in love with you Jack Twist."

Tears spilled from his eyes and he threw himself into my embrace. I kissed his hair and held him close to me. This is what I wanted for so long. His very touch sent shivers up my spine and filled my whole body with warmth I have never experienced with anyone else. Fear replaced my happiness in an instant as the reality of my love for Jack set in; what we were doing was seen as a sin by everyone in town, Jack and I could never be together. Jack pulled away from me and confirmed my fears.

"Damien, what are we going to do? We can't be together; we'll be burned at the stake!" Jack's tears of joy were replaced by tears of fear and horror. I wiped the tears from his eyes.

"We'll find a way."

"Damien, I want to be with you, I honestly do. But you have a fiancée, you're to be married after school ends and then what will we do?"

I gently grabbed his shoulders, trying so desperately to make him understand that my love was not fleeting; that I would love him with all of my being and do anything to keep us together. "Jack listen to me. We will find a way to be together. You know that Rosaline means absolutely nothing to me. I won't let society separate us because they don't know true love and true happiness. Please don't push me away Jack, please say you'll be with me."

Jack gave in and laid his head on my shoulder once more. I cried into his hair with happiness. "I love you Damien Maslin." He muffled into my shirt. "I'll stay with you no matter what."

"I love you too." I lifted his head to look at me, closed my eyes, and leaned closer to him. Our lips with some hesitancy but we succumbed to our feelings and melted into our first kiss. Jack's hands cradled my face while I ran my fingers through his hair around the back of his neck. Our lips molded together in ways that defy all description. My breath came faster and faster but I wanted more. We broke the kiss and tried to catch our breath. We pressed our foreheads together and stayed there for a moment.

"I know I already asked this but what do we do now Damien? We can't deny what we have together so how do we move on from here?" He unfolded himself from me and leaned against the tree, gazing at the stars. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder.

"We'll take it day by day. And one day, we'll move North together, to a place where our love will be accepted. I don't want to leave your side; I want to be with you forever and ever. If we have to, we'll meet every night here, in our spot, where no one will bother us and we can be together."

"You really think that will work? What if we get found out before we can move away?"

"I believe it has to work. Our love is strong Jack, that much is evident. Do you believe our love is strong?"

"Yes." Jack whispered.

"Then we'll be okay. So long as we're together, what can possibly go wrong?"


	3. Tragedy's At Hand

Tragedy's at Hand

After that night, Jack and I were more inseparable than ever. We sat next to each other for every lesson, hiding the fact that we were a couple now. For the next year, we always snuck down to the river after dark and after my parents were sound asleep to play in the water and flirt. Somewhere deep inside me, I resented that I had to hide my love for Jack from everyone I have ever known and loved before. Never in the future could I tell anyone other than Jack how I felt and I would have to figure out a way to be with him and handle my fiancée. But my heart paid no mind to this fact; my heart only knew one thing and one thing only; Jack was mine and I was his.

On the day of our first anniversary, I sat in the grass under our favorite tree on that early Sunday morning. Everyone in the village was crowded into our little church and this was the only time Jack and I had that would be during daylight hours. Jack rushed over to our spot and sat down next to me. I planted a big fat kiss on his lips before unveiling the surprise I had for him.

"Damien, as much as I enjoy it, you can't really kiss me like that in public. That has to be for our late night dates."

"But today is a special day and I wanted to show you how much I really love you." I said. I pulled the drawing out and handed it to Jack. "I've been working on this for a really long time. Feel free to tell me if it's bad because it's the first portrait I've ever done." I smiled bashfully, ruffling the hair on the back of my head nervously. Jack stared at the drawing I gave him; I did my best to draw the two of us together, side by side, at our tree. I had made this picture a thousand and one times in my head and it finally transported from my imagination to my canvas. Jack's smile widened and he planted another kiss on me.

"I love it Damien; it's perfect. You really got my hair right." He complimented.

"I don't think I got my nose just right though. It looks a bit bigger on the page."

"It looks a bit bigger on your face too." Jack teased, chuckling to himself.

"Very funny." I teased back. I tousled his blonde hair and caressed his cheek briefly. "I love you Jack Twist."

He smiled lovingly back at me. "I love you too Damien Maslin." Just as I was about to kiss him again, we heard footsteps kicking up the dirt just ahead of us. Jack pulled out the ball and a few canteens of water as if we were resting by the tree after playing ball instead of going to church with everyone else. I recognized the boy in our class as he came barreling down the road; it was Chuck Taylor; his father owned the bank so he was rich beyond all measure.

"Well well well," He said, "Look who we have here. Playing hooky from church today boys?"

"Just wanted to play some ball before the field would get crowded." Jack informed him, panting like he was out of breath. I was so proud of him and his acting skills.

"Yeah okay. So, how about we do a round of 1 on 2, me against you boys." Chuck proposed.

"I don't know." I said. "Jack's pretty good. He's won the last two games single-handedly."

"Ah come on Damien, you almost had me on that last play. Don't sell yourself short buddy." He patted my back once in a very friendly way; his acting skills far exceeded my own. He could make a killing out of it.

"Are we playing or what?" If we didn't comply, who knows what kind of things Chuck Taylor would tell everyone and everyone would listen to him because his daddy owns the bank. Jack and I set ourselves up on the other side of the field, opposite of Chuck. We tossed him the ball first and let him try to get passed the two of us because he was down one partner. He kicked the ball with full force right into Jack's stomach. Jack caught it but his breath escaped him in a very painful moan. I wanted to make sure he was okay but it would've been rather suspicious if I checked him up and down and then kissed his forehead. I settled for patting his back, like he did for me earlier.

"Good catch Jack. That's our point." I said. I tried to relay my concern telepathically even though I had no such ability. He seemed to get my message and smiled gratefully at me. He tossed me the ball for our next turn. The three of us carried on our game until Jack ran out of breath. He bent over and rested his hands on his knees. I grabbed some water for each of us; we drank together and caught our breath. Suddenly, the drawing of me and Jack fell out of Jack's pocket and Chuck picked it up.

"What's this Twist?"

"Um well…it's…"I tried to explain. What could I say? I couldn't think of a good lie. There was no way out of it, Jack and I were so doomed.

"It's mine." Jack said. "I…drew it."

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"Are you serious?" Chuck looked over the picture and covered his mouth like he was going to vomit. "What is that? Are you kis…kissing? That is so disgusting."

"Well, I just…" Jack stuttered.

"It's more of a…a…" I tried to save us all to no avail. There really was no way out of this. It was all over, our romance was all over.

"This is despicable." Chuck said. He started backing away, as if we were the Black Plague all over again. Suddenly, Chuck dropped the picture, stepped on it, and ran into town. I picked up the picture and gazed at the ruined image of Jack's face close to mine.

"It's ruined." I sighed, depressed. "Jack, what have I done?"

"Damien, you can't blame yourself." He rested his head on my shoulders and kissed my shirt.

"Jack this is serious." I stood up and clasped the picture to my chest with my broken heart. "Chuck is going to announce to the whole village about us. Who knows the repercussions and punishment we will have to endure after this. Jack, this is so unfair."

"Damien, no matter what happens, I will never regret the day I fell in love with you. You have made me the happiest that I've ever been. You have helped me to accept who I am and be that person despite what everyone in the village thinks. I know we had to hide our love for each other because of the consequences but it was worth it."

"How do you know Jack? The villagers are judgmental. They will never accept us for who we are nor will they accept our love." I pulled him close to me and cradled him in my arms. "But I don't regret the day I fell in love with you either Jack. You mean the world to me." A single tear flowed down my face. My words rang true but that alone wouldn't save our relationship. Differences frightened people; any differences were to be handled by one way and we both knew what that was.

"Damien, they don't have to get us both." Jack suddenly said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that the villagers would believe that I am the different one. Your family name is important in this village and you can still have a life."

"Jack, my family name means nothing to me. You know this. Why on earth would you think I would care about it even after you were gone? No. It took two of us to start this relationship and we will go down together."

"Damien, I can't do that to you." Jack took my hands in his. "I can't let you ruin your life over me. It was my fault that Chuck found your anniversary present and it should be me who pays the consequences."

"But…Jack…now that I've found you…I can't live without you." More tears filled my eyes, overflowing to the brim with sadness and brokenness.

Jack smiled lovingly into my eyes and tears shimmered on his face too. "Damien, I love you too much to watch you suffer my same fate."

"What do you mean? It was both of our fates."

"No Damien. I already explained. I was new in town, a foreigner, an outsider. Your family is well-established in this town and they know your reputation. The villagers would look for any reason to hang me or burn me at the stake, just to salvage the reputable cleanliness of this town as I've overheard many of the women gossiping about." He kissed my hand lovingly and said, "Damien, when the villagers come for me tonight, I want you to deny everything."

"What?" I asked in broken disbelief.

"You heard me Damien. Deny you ever loved me. Deny you were ever friends with me. Deny any relation with me at all and you will be saved."

"But Jack…"

"Think of it as my anniversary present to you, that you get to have a chance at the life you were born to lead. Will you accept my gift Damien?" I couldn't think; my head spun faster and faster with each ludicrous claim Jack spat from his mouth. How could he want me to deny my love for him? How could he stand to see the man he loves from over the shoulders of the villagers as they led him away to his death, knowing that I had said such words? And yet, I couldn't deny him his final wish.

"Jack, I promise to love you forever." I said, holding him close to me one last time.

Later that night, I had gone home, thinking all the while about the last conversation between me and Jack. His words stung my heart as my mind replayed them over and over and over again. Dinner was a quiet one that evening; my parents didn't speak a word to each other or to me. I had no interest in small conversation; I thought about Jack and the wonderful times we shared together.

A tapping came from our front door and we found one of the neighbors gathering the people.

"Come, there's a little homosexual boy about to be burned at the stake. Let us witness justice being served!" He raised his fist in the air as if in victory. It was Jack; I knew for sure. In the town square, everyone was gathered around with torches lighting up the night sky. The booed and jeered at Jack as two deputies escorted Jack to the middle. They had stripped him down a more flammable fabric and roughly kicked him and punched him. I felt every blow in my own heart, winced at the cruelty, and I nearly fainted at the sight of his blood pouring from his cuts and scrapes. The priest came forward, holding his bible and raised his hand to the sky.

"This boy, Jack Twist, has been accused of homosexuality. Homosexuality is both an abomination and a sin." He turned to face Jack. "You have but one chance Jack. Should you choose to repent and change your heathen ways, you will be saved from the sentence you know face. However, should you choose to not repent, you will be burned at the stake this very night. What will you choose Jack Twist?"

Jack spat some blood from his mouth onto the ground before the priest. "If this is your idea of repentance, I would rather die a thousand deaths than to change anything about myself."

"There he is! That's the other one!" Chuck shouted from across the crowd, pointing directly at me.

"Me?"

"Yes, he's Jack's….other. He's the other one. I saw them in a picture together kissing."

"I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about Chuck Taylor." I denied.

"You're out of line little Chuck Taylor." Father said. "I'll have you know that our son, Damien, is engaged to be married to young Rosaline Barkley. There is no way our son could be affiliated with that…scum."

At that moment, I found myself wishing that I could burn my father, Chuck Taylor, and the people of the village for having such closed minds, tormenting and calling my poor Jack such things. I truly felt sick to my stomach.

"But he was in the drawing." Chuck said.

"I told you I drew it." Jack said, spitting out more blood.

"I know nothing of such…preposterous feelings like that." I denied once more. "I don't even know Jack Twist other than the boy I used to sit beside in class. I know nothing of these false accusations."

"If that is true Damien, I will need to see you first thing Sunday morning and we will have you properly cleansed before worship." The priest said to me. "As for you Jack, what have you to say for yourself and your crimes?"

Jack looked at me for the final time, relaying his love through his eyes. Though the words were not spoken, they were there. "I love you too Jack Twist", I relayed through my eyes. Before my very eyes, the priest lowered his torch and lit the pile of bark and wood at the bottom of Jack's feet. Fear and anguish covered Jack's face and I felt as if I was standing next to him. My legs began to feel shaky underneath me as I watched the fire lick at his skin, tasting him before piercing into him. I had to look away but I couldn't turn my back on Jack. The villagers cheered at his cries of pain while I fought back tears.

After Jack let out his final agonizing cry and fell into the pile of ashes, the villagers extinguished their torches and journeyed home. I kneeled before the pile of ash, finally allowing the tears freedom. They ran down my face and crashed into the pile of ash, the pile that used to be Jack Twist. I felt as if my heart was beating out of my chest and ripping into millions of tiny pieces at the same time. I thought of Jack's smile, and his laugh, and the cute little face he made after I kissed his nose. I honestly couldn't live without him.

That night, rest evaded me. I couldn't sleep, I was still haunted by the images of Jack's demise and the horrible achiness I felt with every fiber of my being. My one true love had burned at the stake right before my very eyes and yet I was still alive. If what Jack and I had was wrong, Jack wasn't the only one who deserved to perish. I rolled over, trying to fall asleep and I felt as if a cold hand rested on my shoulder. And then, I could've sworn I heard Jack's voice.

"Damien my love, fear not. I will wait for you in the afterlife, where we can be together forever. I love you Damien."

I sat up in bed and looked around my room. "Jack? Is that you?" I couldn't find anything out of the ordinary or any sign that Jack had been there. I sighed in disappointment. "I love you too Jack. Now and forever."

The next morning, my parents and I gathered around the breakfast table, more silent than ever. My heart weighed heavily on my chest that morning and my appetite was not interested.

"Damien, what's wrong? You are not eating boy." Father asked me.

"I'm not hungry today Father."

"What's wrong? You aren't coming down with something are you dear?" Mother asked.

"No Mother. I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep last night that's all." I put down my fork and discontinued playing with my food.

"Don't tell me what happened last night actually disturbed you enough to disrupt your sleeping habits." Father said, stuffing his face.

"And it didn't bother you in the slightest Father?"

"No of course not. Homosexuality is a crime and that little miscreant got what he deserved."

Enraged, I banged the table, causing my parents to drop their silverware in surprise, and I stood up from my chair. "How could you say something like that? A classmate of mine was murdered last night and all you can say is that he deserved it? Do you have any idea what it's like to burn alive? No you don't. You have no idea what kind of excruciating pain Jack had to endure last night and you have no idea the kind of pain that…" I stopped myself. I was losing control and I almost confessed to my parents my true feelings.

"What do you mean sweetheart? What are you trying to say? You mean you actually sympathize with…Jack?" Mother asked.

"He was my…friend Mother. We bonded in the time that we've gone to school together. He's not as unusual as everyone thinks. Or at least he wasn't." I sat back down and sighed heavily.

"Damien, you've been acting strange lately. Last night, you denied any and all relation to him and now you can't eat or sleep because you feel sorry for the poor bastard. I'm beginning to question your sanity Damien." Father sipped his coffee as if bashing my love were gossiping about the town scandal or talking about the forced marriage between me and Rosaline.

"I won't sit here and take this Father." I rose from my seat and stormed toward the front door. "Excuse me Mother, but as I've already stated, I'm not very hungry."

I couldn't think of anywhere else that I would rather be. I sat myself under what used to be mine and Jack's tree. But without him, without his love, it was an ordinary tree. I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on them. I couldn't live with this guilt anymore; I couldn't live without Jack. I felt his presence again, sitting under our tree. He was right next to me, I could feel it.

"Jack," I asked, wiping a tear from my eye. "is that you?"

"It is me Damien. My soul lingers. What is wrong?"

I sniffed and wiped another tear from my eye. "I can't live without you Jack. I need you. Nothing in this world makes sense nor does it have any worth if you're…"

"Dead?" He finished.

"Yes. That."

"Damien, you can't hold onto me or your guilt. I am no longer of this world and you and I both must accept it. You have to let me go."

"But, I can't. I love you so much, how can I just let go?"

"Damien, life isn't always fair. Life is about living in the moment and enjoying those moments. And when our time comes, we must meet again in the afterlife. It's where I want to be now, and it's where I will be waiting for you." I again felt that cold presence on my shoulder. I looked over it and I gazed into a glowing likeness of Jack.

"Jack, am I…"

"Yes Damien. Well, you're seeing my soul more than you are seeing me."

"I wish things didn't have to be this way Jack." I couldn't stop the tears any longer. "I wish I could've had more time to be with you and more time to love you."

Jack patted my shoulder. As cold as his hand was, I could still feel the warmth of his love as if it were as fresh as the morning dew on the blades of grass outside the schoolhouse before morning class. "I know Damien." He said to me. "I wish I could've had longer to love you in return. But this is my fate. And I want you to know that it's okay for you to let go. I want you to live a happy life. I want you to move on. But please Damien, just let me go." Jack's apparition left me alone by that tree.

"Jack wait!" I whispered, catching a new tear. "Please. Please don't leave me." My heart sank deeper than before; my heart wasn't the only part of me that was shattered by this turn of events. I felt as if my entire being, my entire soul was falling apart. My life was becoming a living hell because all I could do was think about Jack and how much I missed him. I couldn't bear it any longer. I know that Jack wanted me to move on and be happy, but what he didn't know was just how impossible that was for me.

What would be my options? Marry Rosaline and gain all the social status of the world? Be rich and live a life of lies and deceit? Not for Damien Maslin. No, what I was going to do was more…fulfilling for me.

"Hey Chuck." I greeted after lessons let out.

"Hi Damien, how have you been?"

"I've been…doing very well." I said. "Listen, I have a favor to ask of you."

"What do you need?"

"Gather everyone in the town square. I have a…big announcement." He seemed confused but he complied. Later that night, Chuck had come through for me. Everyone in the village gathered in the very spot where Jack was burned and I stood by the stake where he burned to make my point.

"What's this about Damien?" One of the townswomen asked. I could see Rosaline and her mother standing in the very back of the crowd and in the front row were my parents.

"I just wanted to tell all of you villagers something about me. But before I do, there are some things I would like to say. First of all, Mom and Dad, I know you think you know what's best for me and that's all that you have ever tried to do. But forcing me to marry someone that I don't love is despicable. Rosaline, you're a very beautiful woman and you will make someone very happy but that someone isn't me."

"Damien, what are you getting at?" Father asked me.

"Everyone, I am standing before the very stake where Jack Twist was burned for homosexuality. Last night, I denied any and all relations to him even though there was a picture of Jack and me kissing each other. The truth is that I was in fact Jack Twist's other half."

The villagers gasped in shock. "Damien, this can't be true." Mother began crying in horror.

"Yes everyone, it's true. I was never attracted to women, and I was never really attracted to men either. I only had sights for one man and that man was Jack Twist. So, do what you will with me." I folded my arms across my chest and waited for the angry mob to start. First, the villagers picked up rocks and threw them at my head; several of them actually managed to hit me in the forehead while others hit me in the shins and the ground at my feet. Suddenly, the same two deputies that tied Jack to the stake grabbed my arms and threw them behind my back. They tied my hands around the stake and hit me in the gut a few times.

A villager that I had only seen once or twice in my lifetime came up to me with a torch. The priest came over to me, holding his bible again.

"Everyone, we have found the other culprit. Two poor souls have been cursed by the Devil himself. In their confusion, they have committed one of the ultimate sins of homosexuality. Damien, will you accept repentance and renounce your ways or will you refuse such as Jack Twist."

"I refuse to change. Do your worst." I snickered at the priest and waited for the painful fire to end my life so that I may reunite with Jack. The torch was thrown onto the pile of wood at my feet. I braced myself for the fire's painful heat and I looked into the crowd at my mother. "I'm sorry Mother, but I would rather be free to be who I am with the man I love, and if that's wrong here in life, then we will be together in death. I'm sorry that I couldn't make you proud Mother."

"I'm sorry too Damien. I'm sorry that we went wrong with you." She and Father turned away and left the crowd, left me to die alone. Eventually the fire started to consume me and I had one last thing to say.

"Jack, I'm coming my darling. We'll be together soon." And with that, my life was over.


	4. Tulsa, Oklahoma 1958

*I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to post this next chapter. I've hit a real dead end with ideas and I found it hard to come up with new ideas. So here it is and I promise to keep working on it. I would like to point out the use of a derogatory term for "gay". I did not use this to offend, to hurt, or to cause a problem. I used it because of realistic quality to my story; that term has been used to describe homosexual men in the past before it was proclaimed as an unaccepted term for gay. So please, take no offense. If you don't like it, that's on you.*

Tulsa, Oklahoma 1958

My pencil scribbled away on my notebook page. I kept glancing between the chalkboard and my notes, Mrs. Green wrote diligently note after note. I had been looking forward to this lesson for an entire week; I loved my History class. The bell rang too soon, ending my favorite class only moments before Mrs. Green was able to finish.

"Alright class, you are dismissed. We will continue this lesson tomorrow morning. Have a good rest of the day." She rested the chalk on the tray and picked up the eraser. I gathered my things and left the classroom. I walked down the hall and stopped at my locker and put in my lock combination.

"Hello Damien, it is so good to see you again." A familiar female voice greeted from down the hall. It was my good friend Beatrice. She and I had been friends for years, ever since I could remember really, and we have grown inseparable throughout the years.

"Hello Beatrice, how are you today?"

"Just fine Damien, I thought that last class would never end. You know that test next week is going to be very hard."

"I disagree. I studied really hard for the last one and I did well so I will do fine on this one so long as I practice the same study habits." I concluded.

"That is easy for you to say Damien. You are the smartest guy in school and you happen to be good at everything."

"Oh come now Beatrice, surely you are mistaken. I am not good at everything but it is true that I am smart. Perhaps I could assist you with your studies. Would you like to come over to my home this evening for dinner and I will help you study?"

"That would be great Damien. Thank you so much." Beatrice hugged me tightly for a brief moment and scampered off to class. I fixed my newly ruffled shirt and wandered on to my next class. I walked into English and set my books down on my desk, next to Jack Twist's seat. Jack hadn't yet walked into class and it was just about to start. I opened my notebook and wrote down today's date as well as the subject we were going to be studying today. I heard the door swing open, tearing me away from my notebook; when I looked up, I saw Jack Twist, his arm hooked to his girlfriend, Angela Mayfield. She slobbered some more of her red L'oreal Paris Color Riche Aqua Lacquer all over Jack's lips before sitting in her seat.

The rest of the class seemed unperturbed by their public display of affection; they settled themselves into their own notes and their chapter books of fairytale love and romance while I remained the only one aware of the exchange. I grimaced in disgust and wrote some more notes down. I had nothing against Jack, he was a very sweet and nice guy. The only thing wrong with watching his love life was watching the other half of said love life. Knowing what I did about Jack, Angela Mayfield just didn't seem like the right girl for Jack. She wasn't anything like his type; she was clingy, overbearing, possessive, and downright trashy. Jack was…so much more than that. I shook those thoughts out of my head and focused on the class lesson. Beatrice nudged me from her desk across the aisle and passed me a note. I unfolded it and read it.

 _I wonder if Jack knows that there is lipstick all over his neck. Completely noticeable._ When I looked back at her, she was snickering at Angela; apparently I wasn't the only one dissatisfied with Angela Mayfield. It wouldn't surprise me if every girl in the school thought less of her. Mr. White strolled into class, slamming the door behind him. It never did it out of frustration or spite, it was his special way of getting our attention for the "morning announcement".

"Good morning class!" Mr. White enthusiastically said. "Time for the Morning Announcement; Today, we are going to begin planning the class trip to Niagara Falls. It will be the first week of summer and all of you will have to make the minimum payment of 40 dollars before the last week in May. Does everyone understand? That does not mean wait until then to pay for the trip. That means, get the money in before that time. Money will not be accepted during that week so if you want to go, get your money in." He ended the morning announcement session by putting on his favorite hat, his "thinking cap" as he called it and chanted his end of the morning announcements chant. "It's the end of the morning announcements. It's time to start the morning lesson. Let us put on our thinking caps. And start the day off…..rrrrrRRRIIIGGGGHHHTTTT!"

We all laughed at his ridiculousness; I had to give him credit for keeping the class interested in what he had to teach.

"Alright class, that's enough silliness. What do you say we get to today's lesson?" Throughout the whole class, I couldn't help but glance over at Jack and Angela. I just didn't understand it. Jack was sweet, loyal, kind, softhearted, and…cute. Angela was…stunning, stylish, popular, and….hot I guess. I can't say that I see them together as a couple. For the remainder of the school day, I saw Jack and Angela in every single class, in the halls, even the cafeteria. Beatrice and I sat our trays down at our preferred table and stared at the slop on our plates.

"You know what, she's not even the least bit appealing." I said, dipping my fork into my slop.

"Who?" Beatrice asked me.

"Angela. She's not even a pretty girl. I mean did you know that she practically stuffs her shirt?" I ranted, furiously stuffing my face with spoonfuls of mystery meat.

"Damien, what are you talking about?" Beatrice asked me.

"Angela, she is just so…"

"Damien, are you sure you don't have a problem with her because she's with him?" As she asked me this, the "lovely" couple walked over to the next table and sat down together. "Are you even listening to me Damien?"

"Pardon? What did you say?" I asked, taking another bite.

"Damien, I think you have other reasons for hating her than you care to mention." She said. "Before she started dating Jack, you never even acknowledged her existence. But now that she is, you carry on as if she is the most awful person in the world. I think you have a little green monster on your back Mr. Maslin." She smiled cockily at me and ate her food in satisfied silence. I grunted and glanced over at Jack's table; he was silently eating his food while Angela carried on with her minions and her ladies in waiting. Between bites, Jack patiently sat there listening to their girlish babble and didn't speak a word.

I pitied poor Jack; if I were sitting with him, I would at least make conversation. Jack and I were friends in grade school but since we moved up, we grew apart. I missed Jack so much; we used to play by the trees at recess, I would share my animal crackers with him, and he was the only boy in our class that didn't tease me about my passion for drawing. Jack used to challenge me to draw something different every day and it was the greatest time of my life. I wished time would rewind itself back to those moments when I had Jack to talk to.

"Damien, I know you and Jack have gone your separate ways but…you should just talk to him. Tell him how you feel."

"Beatrice," I harshly whispered. I leaned closer to her and whispered, "you're the only one who knows my secret and I would like to keep it that way."

"Damien, don't worry. Your secret is safe with me, I'm not saying that you spill that particular set of beans. I mean you should tell him that you miss being friends with him and you want him back." Her words rang true in my ears. Communication was the key to a functional relationship of any kind. "And besides," she continued, leaning in to whisper, "if you start out as friends again, it might lead to something towards your secret." She winked at me and dug into her food again. I flicked a spoonful of beans, ironically, and they landed on her lunch tray.

Later that day, I pondered her advice in class. I kept peeking over at Jack, hunched over in his work. Angela's groping hand traced the contours of Jack's shoulders drawing in his attention. Something boiled inside of me and I couldn't understand it; maybe Beatrice was right. After my last class, I gathered my books and went to my locker. I stuffed everything into it as fast as possible, resulting in my books ending up on the floor. I bent down to pick them up and I saw a pair of shoes walking towards me. The shoes bent down and my eyes met Jack's.

"Jack." I said in surprise.

"Damien." He greeted back, grinning from ear to ear. "You know, you really should be more careful with your books." We stood up and Jack handed me the book. "It's been awhile hasn't it?"

"Yeah it has." I felt like a teenage girl desperately trying to get her crush to ask her to the prom. "Listen Jack, there was something that I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it Damien?" Jack folded his arms and leaned on the locker next to mine.

"I just…wanted to say…that…uh." I looked around literally trying to find words to say to Jack. I caught Beatrice watching the two of us; she nodded in encouragement and waved her hands at me, urging me to say what I wanted to. "I just wanted to say that…I miss having you as a friend and I was wondering if you…wanted to…hang out sometime."

Jack smiled and giggled to himself. My cheeks flushed red; I can't believe I actually said that and he laughed in my face. I turned to walk away.

"Wait no. Damien I didn't mean it like that." I stopped walking away. "I was laughing because I was just coming to ask you if you wanted to hang out on Saturday."

I felt like one of the girls in my class; I even brushed my hair out of my face like a girl would when being asked out on a date. "Really?"

"Yeah actually. So, are you free?"

"What about Angela?" I blurted out.

"She's spending the weekend at Jennifer Love's house so I wanted to have some…guy time." Jack confessed, blushing as well.

"Sure, I'll hang out with you on Saturday." I pulled out a piece of my notebook paper and my favorite pen. I wrote down my phone number and gave it to Jack. "Here's my phone number, call me when you want to pick me up." I smiled as I handed him the piece of paper. He folded it and placed it in his shirt pocket. He waved goodbye and said, "I'll call you" before dashing off to his ride home.

I raced home and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. I took my phone off of my desk and threw it onto my bed. I pulled my schoolbag onto my lap and pulled out my sketchbook. My pencil raced against the page, coloring in my image of my classroom. I drew my empty classroom from my respective seat. Across the room, I drew Jack's back with his face turned just enough to catch his eyes. I could never tell anyone how I felt about Jack; the truth is that I had developed a little crush on him and I wanted to go out with him more than anything. I often dreamt that he left Angela for me but that was only a dream.

I kept sketching to my heart's desire and my dad interrupted me. "Damien?" I tossed my sketchbook under my covers hoping I hadn't ruined my drawing.

"What is it Dad?"

"Your mother sent me up here to tell you dinner is ready." I nodded and gotten up from my bed. "Are you alright son?" He asked me.

"Yes, I'm fine." I went with him downstairs to the dining room. After dinner, I went back upstairs to check on my sketch; thankfully, my covers hadn't ruined it. I went to bed that night imagining the kinds of things Jack and I would be doing on Saturday. After that Saturday, Jack and I had gotten so much closer; we were hanging out every day after school until Angela came over and ruined my alone time.

My feelings for him grew with every passing day; in fact, I could swear I felt a spark when he accidentally touched my hand trying to look at one of my sketches. He leaned in close to me, touching my shoulder with his. Then, he said, "You know, I think you should draw a nice house over here." His hand ran into mine as he showed me where I should've drawn it. He didn't move his hand as he gazed into my eyes for a brief moment. He cleared his throat after a while and we separated. There were so many tingles running down my spine I couldn't think straight. I lost the image in my head that I was trying to transfer to my canvas.

At school, I think I was slowly losing my mind the more I was forced to see the two of them together. Anger welled deep inside me every time her perfect little manicured hands tracing the contours of his shoulders almost as if she was taunting me because no one else could ever have him. I confronted him the next day we hung out.

"Jack?" I asked.

"What is it Damien?"

"Do you ever….you know…get tired of Angela hanging on you all of the time?" It was a breezy spring afternoon. Jack and I were walking in the park along the pond, watching the ducks swim. I tossed a few pieces of my sandwich into the pond and watched them fight over my crumbs.

Jack sighed heavily. "I will admit she is clingy at times but…isn't that what girlfriends do?"

"You mean you've never had one?" I asked him hopefully.

"Not before I moved here. See, Angela was the first person to talk to me and she happened to be the most popular girl in school. So, when we became friends, I guess it just made sense for me to date her." Jack looked horrified at me.

"What? What is it?"

"I can't believe I told you that. I've told anyone that before."

"It's okay Jack. We're..friends, you can tell me anything." I placed my hand on his shoulder. I tried to make it seem like a guy pat but…my grip softened and my hand lingered there for a moment too long. Jack looked away uncomfortably and I cursed myself for letting my feelings control me.

"Damien." Jack said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'm glad we're friends again." When I looked over at him, he was smiling genuinely at me. I fought back tears of joy and returned his smile. And with that confirmation, I wanted to tell him my deepest, darkest secret, hoping he would understand.

"Jack, since we're friends, can I tell you something and just keep it between us?" I asked.

"Of course. I'm very good at keeping secrets."

I inhaled deeply and said, "Jack….the truth is….that I'm….attracted to boys." I almost didn't want to know what his reaction would be. Would he be disgusted with me? Would he regret ever speaking to me again? Maybe I shouldn't have said anything; I was so stupid.

"Well I have to say that I didn't see that one coming."

"Really?"

"I mean, you're with Beatrice all of the time, I thought you two were a couple. But I wouldn't know anything unless Angela knew it."

"Well Beatrice is my best friend; we've been in the same class since kindergarten. She is the only other person who knows my secret and I plan to keep it that way."

"I won't tell anyone Damien. And by the way, I think it's wonderful that you have a friend like her. To confide in and count on. I wish I had that."

I smiled. "You do now." And we enjoyed the rest of our walk; I loved that Jack didn't even bat an eyelash when I told him how I felt. Knowing that made my love for him grow even stronger. I was so happy that I had finally talked to Jack and told him everything. My joy would be short lived however. That Monday, things at school went straight to hell; after my first class, a trio of seniors slammed me into my locker. They laughed at me as they shoved my face into it again and again. I could feel the metal scraping my skin open; it stung so badly I could hardly stand it.

"Hey! What are you doing? Leave him alone!" Beatrice screamed. They stared at her and then hit me one last time in the face before walking away. After that incident, the seniors came back for more again and again. I didn't know why until someone screamed, "Homo!" at me. I couldn't believe it. Either my best friend in the world or the man I loved had betrayed me and told my secret. After school, I burst through the door, my eye still throbbing, but thankfully the blood. I checked it in the hallway mirror; the skin around my eye was painted black and blue and my eye was definitely swollen. My mother came out of the dining room to greet me.

"Hello sweetheart how was sch…OH MY WORD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?" She screamed when she saw my face. "Damien, what happened? What happened to you?"

"Mother it's no big deal okay? I'm fine."

"Your eye is swollen practically shut. Come with me, let me get some ice on that." She took me by the hand and dragged me to the kitchen. I sat at the table and waited for her to come back with a bag of ice. She waltzed in, very angrily, and placed the bag on my eye. "Leave that on for a few minutes and the swelling should go down." I did as she told me. "This is the third time in the last week you've come home with bruises on your face and a bloody nose. Are you going to tell me what is going on Damien?"

"Mother, it's nothing to worry about. And my face will be fine for the dance on Friday."

"Damien, I'm not so sure you should still go. If your classmates are beating you like this maybe you shouldn't go." Mother suggested.

"Mother, it's fine. I'm going to the dance with Beatrice. I made her a promise." I lied. I was going to the dance by myself, just to see Jack. But maybe if I went with her, they would pass off my story as a cold rumor. I called Beatrice later that night after I convinced my mother to let me go to the dance. I asked her to be my "date" and she agreed.

When we got to the dance, everyone stopped to stare at me. I hooked my arm around Beatrice's shoulder and walked her into the gymnasium. Everyone watched me like I was a walking holiday ham. Beatrice whispered in my ear, "Keep it up, you're doing great." The trio of seniors stared at me from across the gym; I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked the opposite way toward the punch bowl. "Damien," Beatrice whispered in my ear again, "give me a nice kiss on the forehead."

"What?"

"Then they'll think we're dating. Just do it." I leaned in and pressed my lips to her forehead. I could smell her sweet strawberry shampoo; it smelled kind of nice. I was going to try that sometime. I shook my head clear of those thoughts; they would not help me out to convince everyone I'm straight.

And then…I spotted him. Jack Twist. He wore black dress pants, a white button shirt, and an outrageously orange bowtie. Standing next to him, was Angela in a very short orange dress with white Stilettos; they did not look good with that dress in the slightest. Jack spotted me as well and waved. We met later by the punch bowl.

"Evening Damien." Jack said to me, picking up a glass.

"Evening Jack. Nice suit." I said.

"Aww thanks for saying that, I was worried I looked ridiculous." Jack said. I giggled. I glanced over my shoulder and I saw the same trio of seniors watching me with suspicious eyes. I wiped the smile from my face, got a cup of punch, and left Jack without another word. I'm sure he was confused by my sudden change in behavior but all I could concentrate on was that trio; they would be out for blood if they saw how I felt about Jack. And they wouldn't just come after me, they'd come after Jack too.

I walked over to Beatrice and wrapped my arm around her waist. "They're watching." I whispered into her ear, making it look as if I was whispering a dirty secret instead. She smiled and wrapped her arm on top of mine, getting into the act. It was all for not. I left Beatrice to use the hallway bathroom; they were waiting for me.

"Well well well, if it isn't our little pal Damien." Mike Tyler said. "Where are ya going?"

"I'm just going to the bathroom, I don't want any trouble."

"You here that boys?" Mike laughed, pushing my shoulder. "The little faggot doesn't want any trouble." The other two laughed. Enthralled by their praise, he grabbed a fistful of my shirt and slammed me against the nearest locker. "Well you've got trouble. See, we don't take too kindly to little homosexuals such as yourself, especially one who tries to pretend he's something he's not."

"What the hell are you doing?" Beatrice demanded as she scrambled into the hall. Several people by the entrance to the gym peeked their heads out to see the confrontation.

"Beat it chic, this don't concern you." Mike warned.

"Beatrice, just go." I pleaded.

"Leave him alone Mike. He hasn't done anything to you." Beatrice screamed.

"I said beat it." Ignoring him, Beatrice waltzed up to him and grabbed his arm as if she could force him to let me go herself. Mike wasn't having that; he did let go of me but he slammed his fist into my gut causing me to fall to the floor in agony. Mike's lackeys wailed on me some more and I could barely see Mike's hand as he wrapped it around Beatrice's face and pushed her into the lockers on the other side. Through the punches, I heard him say, "You've got spunk, I like that. Maybe we could have some fun on our own." His arms pinned her against the locker and he tried to press himself into her.

"Leave her alone." I gasped and I was silenced by another kick to my face.

"Mike, leave them alone." Jack said, appearing out of nowhere. Mike immediately backed off and the others stopped kicking me. I began to cough, I even coughed up some blood. Beatrice ran to my side and tried to help me up. "What are you guys doing?" Jack asked.

"Teaching this faggot a lesson." Mike said.

"Mike, let him alone. He's cool alright? He's not really gay. That was just a rumor Angela started." I should've known. "Just let him be." I could tell that dating Angela had truly given him some social standing; everyone respected Jack. The girls wanted to date him and the guys wanted to be him. Mike and his buddies walked away back into the dance and Jack came over to help me up. He lifted my arm over his shoulder and carried me into the bathroom.

I sat on one of the sinks and held my hand up to my eye. Jack tore some paper towels off the roll and soaked it with water. He moved my hand away and wiped away the blood around my eye. "That looks really bad."

"It only looks bad. They just reopened old wounds so it doesn't hurt as much as you think." I tried to lie.

"I'm sorry Damien. I'm sorry they did this to you." He started to wipe the blood from my mouth but…slower and his fingers definitely lingered over my bottom lip.

"Thank you Jack." I simply said, gazing into his eyes. Jack's face relaxed and I watched him swallow hard. Jack slowly leaned in, hesitant but sure of what he wanted. I stayed perfectly motionless; I tried desperately to slow my breathing as well as my heart rate but my body was yearning for his kiss. Finally, Jack leaned in close enough and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss started with a simple peck but Jack wanted more. So he grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my lips back to his. My heart damn near beat through my chest and in that moment, the pain of hiding my true self, taking the torture with heated silence melted away. Nothing else mattered except that Jack's lips were entangling themselves with mine.

Jack broke the kiss and backed up into the nearest stall; he just stared at me. He was unsure of what he had just done. "Jack, it's okay. You've done nothing wrong." I pleaded.

"I know that Damien."

"You do?" I asked.

"The fact is that…I… I don't know."

"Then why did you defend me? Why are you in here cleaning me up and taking care of me?" And I asked the real question on my mind, "Why did you stay here to kiss me instead of dancing with her?"

"Damien…" Jack pleaded. "I…The truth is that…I think I've fallen in love with you." As quickly as it sped up, my heart stopped. I held my breath and let him go on. "But I don't know what to do about it. I've been with Angela ever since I got here and even then I knew she and I weren't a good match but…I'm supposed to be with her type, you know? But then I meet you again and I find myself wanting to be with you and…wanting to kiss you and I just…don't know what to do." Jack finally sat down on the edge of the sink next to mine and stared at the floor.

We sat like that for a moment; I reflected on Jack's words and the taste of his lips. My breathing calmed and I found some words. "Jack, are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes I'm fine Damien. But, I don't know what this means."

"It means that it's time to make a choice."


	5. Jack's Decision

Chapter 5: Jack's Decision

That night I couldn't sleep a wink; all I could think about was that first kiss. I lay there in my bed with my eyes wide open, daydreaming about Jack and I being together. I dreamt of the times that I would be able to hold him in my arms and kiss his neck. I also dreamed of the way he would whisper into my ear with his hands on my waist and the way his breath would tickle the hairs on the back of my neck.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine more of what our relationship could be and I finally dozed off for a few hours of sleep. The next morning, right before school started, I took out my notebook; I started drawing some more. I drew mine and Jack's faces together inside of a giant heart; I knew it was cliché but something about it felt right. But, I had the strangest feeling of déjà vu while I drew that picture and I had no idea why. It was the first time I drew something like this and I haven't drawn anything before this class before either. I shook the déjà vu from my head when I saw Jack and Angela strolling into class hand in hand.

Today, he seemed less than thrilled to be holding her hand; in fact, he looked more out of place than he ever had before. Even though I was very confident I knew the reason he seemed that way, I was still wondering if it was indeed my fault. When he sat next to me, I wanted to ask him if he thought about the decision he was going to make but something in me warned me not to.

Later on at lunch time, I couldn't take it anymore. I motioned for Jack to join me at an empty table. He excused himself from the table and brought his tray over to my table. At first when he sat down I was so nervous I couldn't think of anything to say. So we ate in silence for a moment. I heard Jack swallow hard, like he was trying to swallow back his emotions. I took a deep breath and spoke.

"Hi."

Jack looked up from his tray. "Hello."

"So um, I wanted to talk to you about…what happened last night." That instantly made Jack more uneasy. He picked at his food more than he ate it. I quickly changed the course of the conversation. "I wanted to thank you. You know, for bandaging me up and everything."

"Oh, you're welcome." Jack said, relaxing a little bit.

I couldn't keep silent anymore. "Jack, I know what happened last night was…different for you and I know that last night wasn't planned. But, I need to know how you felt about it. Please."

Jack looked at me and set his fork back down on his tray. "Damien, can we talk about this later?" He looked around; the cafeteria was buzzing with conversation but no one seemed to be looking our way. "Now really isn't the best time and I owe you a full explanation." We agreed to meet at my house after school; my parents would be attending a party at the country club and would not be returning home until late that evening.

I was a nervous wreck; I paced back and forth in the foyer and I couldn't rest. I worried about what he would say and what his decision would be. I didn't think I could bear to be rejected. I could feel my palms sweating and the hair on my arms vibrating from standing up so tall. I couldn't bear this for a moment longer; the doorbell should have set me free from the chains of my anxiety but it had the opposite effect.

I wiped my sweaty hands on my pant legs and took a deep breath before I opened the door. "Jack, it's nice to see you. Come on in." He thanked me and passed me into the living room. He sat down on the couch and folded his hands onto his lap. I was at a loss so I settled for sitting on the edge of the end table in front of him. "Thanks for coming by Jack." I said.

"Damien, I know that you've been waiting for my decision and I just couldn't bear to make it without discussing what happened with you. I can see this is important to you."

"Alright, let's talk about it. What is it you want to say Jack?"

He stood up and wiped his hands on his pants. "Damien, I've been confused ever since we shared that kiss. I don't know what to think anymore; I know what's natural and what's expected of me but for whatever reason, I seem to want to throw that all out the window. Before you get too excited, I also want to ignore that feeling and do what I'm supposed to do, even if I may be unhappy about it."

"Jack, I know this decision isn't as easy as I made it out to be and I'm sorry. But I stand by what I told you; I've never told anyone my secret, other than Beatrice, and I told you because I honestly have feelings for you; I have for awhile now. I'm not ashamed of what happened last night." I declared.

"I'm not saying I'm ashamed of you Damien. I'm ashamed of me; my heart is tearing me in two ways and I can't decide what would make me happier."

"Jack, though it may not be an easy decision, it's also not as hard as you think. All you have to do is follow your heart, to whomever it may lead you; whether it's back to Angela or to me. Either way, it's not only my decision, it has to be ours. What I felt with you, I have never experienced it before and now I know it's what I want."

Jack didn't speak for a moment, my heart beat faster and faster as the silence grew. My mind kept telling me he was pulling away and every silent moment tore into my heart. I could see how this was torturing him but I wondered if he understood how tortured I was as well. Jack sighed and spoke again.

"Damien, I just don't know what to say right now. I feel that a heavy burden is now on my shoulders and no matter what decision I make, I will hurt someone so excuse me for not wanting to be rash."

"Jack, if you can't own up to your feelings, you're obviously ashamed of them. If loving another man is so hard for you, then you never would've kissed me. If you didn't want to then why did you? Why would you do something so vile just to hurt me?"

"Damien, that's not it. I'm not ashamed of our kiss either. What has me so confused and conflicted is how much that kiss meant to me. For as long as I have been with Angela, I haven't yet felt what I did when I kissed you. My intention was never to hurt you but I've never felt this way before and this is all so new to me, I don't know how to handle it."

"If that's how you felt, I think you know where your heart truly lies and I think you belong with me. So please, say you'll be with me."

Jack's eyes looked as if he were about to tear up. "Damien, I care for you, I really do. But I need time. I can't rush into this, I just can't."

"So that's it then? You're just going to bottle up everything we have, just to keep your social status? Admit it, that's what this is really about."

"Damien no; You have it all wrong. What you're asking of me is to change my entire lifestyle. Everything that I was, is going to change and not to mention, what we would be doing is wrong."

"It's not wrong if the feelings we have for each other are real. This is real, real enough for me and I don't you think you get that. I don't care what anyone else thinks; all that matters to me is finding the one person I want to be with for the rest of my life. And right now, it's you. But if that is not what you want, say it now and end my misery."

This was it; this was the moment my heart grieved. Would he reject me or accept me?

"All I'm asking for is some time. Please, I have to think about this. Until then, I'm staying with Angela." Those four words pierced right through me. I felt my breath cut off and a lump stuck in my throat.

"So that's it then? Just like that?" Jack sighed and looked at the floor. "Jack, I think you should leave now." He didn't utter another word, he just stood up and walked out my front door. I couldn't bear my heartache; I ran upstairs to my bedroom and threw myself onto my bed. I held myself so tightly; I felt like I was about to split into two if I didn't keep myself together. My doorbell rang and I picked myself up to answer it.

"Damien!" Beatrice huffed. "I came over as fast as I could. How did it…" She finally noticed my glowing red eyes and my broken expression. "Oh Damien, he didn't." She walked up to me and placed her comforting hands on my shoulders. "Tell me everything."

That night, I cried myself to sleep; my worst fears had come true. The man I loved rejected me and stomped on my feelings. I had never been so humiliated; not even the torture at the hands of my fellow students. The next morning was even worse; Angela was all over him. It was tearing into me like a serrated knife. Beatrice wrapped her arm through mine and led me into class. "Look away Damien, look away."

At lunch, I sat down at a secluded table, far away from anyone else. Beatrice followed my lead and sat across from me. As luck would have it, Angela spotted the two of us and brought Jack and her posse over to the table next to us. She looked directly at me and planted a big fat kiss on Jack's lips. Surprisingly, he pushed her away.

"Angela, what are you doing?"

"Nothing sugar lips." She glanced back at me. "Nothing I don't normally do."

"You're acting very weird."

One more awful look for me and she leaned in close and ran her hands up and down Jack's chest. "Whatever do you mean my love?"

"Angela stop! Why are you doing this? This isn't like…you know what, I can't do this." Jack walked out of the cafeteria and disappeared into the hallway. No one saw him the rest of the day; he just vanished. Beatrice offered to come home with me to study and do homework but I insisted that she wasn't needed. Although, by the time I reached home, I wished I hadn't turned her away.

I couldn't talk to my parents about this. I put on my bravest face for them and waited until I was alone before I let my feelings rush out of me. My doorbell rang again. I wiped my eyes and sniffed before heading downstairs. I opened the door and Jack stood there on my doorstep. "Jack?" I asked in disbelief. "Why…why are you…" I couldn't seem to ask.

He smiled. "Damien, I know what my decision is now."

"You do?" Jack leapt through my threshold and wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me. I held him close to me and kissed him back. The worst night of my life and turned into the best night in a single moment; Jack hadn't rejected me. We kissed until we gasped for air and I held him close to me. He sighed into my neck, his breath tickling my skin.

"I'm so sorry Damien. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It doesn't matter now Jack. What matters now is us." But that reminded me. "Jack, what happened to you after lunch today?"

He pulled away from me and explained. "I left school. I saw what Angela was really doing. Those seniors that had been tormenting you spread those rumors about you and so Angela decided to join in. She watched how bothered you were by her hanging all over me and I knew she was doing it to you on purpose. She did that with every girl who looked my way, like I was her trophy or something. But I've had enough. I realized," He turned to face me, "I realized that I would rather be with someone who truly loves me and someone I truly love, even if it is wrong in the eyes of someone else. I love you Damien, and I want to be with you too."

And from that point on, Jack and I were inseparable. Almost.


	6. Tragic Accident

*Just a reminder that this is still the early 1900's and being gay was still not something anyone did. Even though people in today's society don't fully accept them, people back then were even worse. I didn't use any language to offend or to bash anyone; I used realistic language that may or may not have been used in this situation for realistic purposes. I feel really badly for what I put Damien and Jack through, honestly I do. 9 times out of 10, I cry as I write it or I'm in total depression afterwords. But fear not, for a happy ending (well, happy-ish) is coming soon. Thank you for sticking with me and showing Damien and Jack such love and adoration. You've all been wonderful.*

Chapter 6: Tragic Accident

That night, I snuck Jack into my bedroom. We curled together on my bed and gazed out the window. Every now and again, I kissed his hair and he squeezed me tighter.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you Damien."

"Never mind that now Jack. It doesn't matter anymore; what matters now is that we can be together."

Jack let go of me and propped himself on his elbows and stared straight into my eyes. "You can forgive me just like that?"

"Of course I can. Jack, that's what love is; love is commitment to each other, forgiveness, and trust. I know you didn't mean to hurt me and you've told me that you love me so now nothing else matters to me."

My parents came home and Jack dashed out of the window. He gave me a quick kiss goodbye and whisked out of my bedroom window. My father came through the door and said, "Goodnight son."

"Goodnight Father." I responded. After he left, I raced to my window and checked for Jack. He was still walking up the street toward his house. I sighed blissfully; the worst night of my life had completely turned into one of the best nights of my life. I thought I had been rejected by the man I loved but he confessed his love to me and spent some time in my arms; the moment I had been dreaming of for years.

School got a little better after that night; Angela was the one giving me dirty looks instead of the other way around, the trio of seniors stopped bothering me because Jack would remind them about last time. Because of school being so late in the term, there was no point in Jack trying to switch seats with Beatrice so he still had to sit next to Angela. Several times during class, Angela tried to touch Jack and convince him to get back together with her but he always shrugged her off and told her it was never going to happen.

At lunch, Jack bypassed Angela's table and sat down at mine. I yearned to hold his hand under the table but people would be suspicious and they would find out. I settled for secretly resting my hand on his thigh. When I did, he looked up at me and blushed adorably. Later that afternoon, we fooled our parents into believing we were going to the field to play some baseball but when we got there, we immediately started making out in the dugout. As the sun went down, I walked Jack back to his house and he snuck me upstairs to his room. We snuggled some more, sneaking a few kisses, and we discussed books and music. Jack and I both loved to read and I promised to show Jack my drawings based on characters I read about in my books. He loved that idea and looked forward to it. His parents called up to his bedroom and I snuck out the window.

Our relationship truly was a modern "Romeo and Juliet". Though our parents never knew each other, we were still fighting for acceptance of our relationship. I didn't like that I had to hide the man I loved from people I cared for but being gay was not accepted by anyone in this sad, miserable world. In today's world, everyone had to be miserable and the same as everyone else and differences were feared. Knowing all of that, I didn't care. I knew in my heart who I really was and who I really loved so everything else didn't matter to me. I just wished the universe saw it the way I did.

"Jack." I said to him one night when we were cuddling by my fireplace. My parents were out for the evening until the next morning so I invited Jack over for dinner.

"What is it Damien?"

"Aren't you tired of hiding our relationship?" I asked.

"Well,…" Jack thought about it. He nestled himself deeper into my arms and sighed. "I do admit, it would be nice to introduce you to my parents. And I would like to hold your hand at school."

"So why don't we do it?" I suggested.

"But…Damien."

"I'm tired of hiding Jack. I love you and I want the world to know it." I declared. I planted my lips on his and kissed him with so much passion. We finally broke the kiss to catch our breath. "May I hold your hand at school tomorrow Jack Twist?"

"Yes." Jack whispered, kissing me once more. The next day at school, when we got off the bus, I took Jack's hand in mine and we walked together into school. Everyone stared at us with complete shock. I didn't want to go so far as to kiss him in public yet so I hugged him goodbye as we went into the only classes we didn't have together. Beatrice gleamed at me with pride. She pulled me aside to my locker after class.

"You did it Damien! You did it!" She hugged me. But suddenly there was a rock thrown at my head.

"Faggot!" One of the seniors from the other day cried out.

"Queer!"

"Homo!" I almost started to regret my decision but my face was suddenly pulled the opposite way and my lips met another set of lips. I opened my eyes and I saw my man kissing me, with tongue, in front of our peers. He pulled away and smiled at me. He turned to the hallway.

"Anybody have a problem with that?" Somebody threw a rock at Jack.

"You're not big man on campus anymore Twist."

"Not now that you're a faggot too."

I grabbed Jack's shoulder and forced him to walk with me. "Come on Jack, let's go. We don't have to take this." We walked to our next class and Angela insisted to our teacher that Beatrice trade Jack seats because she did not want to sit next to him. She was confused but complied and asked Jack to sit next to me and Beatrice sit next to Angela. "I'm sorry Jack." I whispered.

"Don't Damien. You were right. It's time to own up to my feelings." He looked me right in the eye and whispered, "No regrets." He took my hand in his under the table and we sat through class together; hand in hand, as one person.

School finally ended, but I wished it hadn't. I wished that things could've been the way they were before that final bell rang because life was easier then. The end of my happiness happened in the parking lot just after school. Jack and I walked hand in hand to the parking lot and waited for the bus. Another senior came up behind me and stole my backpack off of my back and threw it into the street.

"Come on!" I complained.

"Fetch it fruit!" He yelled, walking in the opposite direction. "And while you're at it, get hit by a bus."

"Don't worry Damien, I'll get it." Jack ran into the street, right in front of a speeding car.

"JACK WAIT!" I screamed. It was too late. The car tried to stop but at the speed it was going, it wasn't enough time to stop before it hit Jack right in the torso. Jack went flying over the top of the car and landed face down on the pavement behind the car. "Jack! No!"

"Oh my God." Beatrice cried out. "Somebody call 911!" I rushed right over to Jack and picked him up in my arms.

"Jack? Are you okay?" I asked him. He was barely blinking and he was bleeding rather heavily. There was a cut on his head where I was holding it, it was bleeding really fast and flowing like water from a faucet. "Jack! Oh Jack."

"Damien." He whispered. "I don't feel so good."

"It's okay. You're going to be okay." I assured him. The ambulance arrived and the paramedics rushed over to his side and began working on him.

"What happened young man?" One of them asked me.

"He….he was hit by a car. I think he's hurt very badly. Is he going to be okay?"

"We'll do everything we can for your friend." The other said. The two of them started wrapping all kinds of…IV lines, a neck brace, and God only knows what else. When they started loading him into the van, I asked if I could go with him. They allowed it but told me that once we got to the ER, I would have to stay in the waiting area until the doctors were done. Beatrice told me she would get her parents to drive her to the hospital when she got home.

I stared at Jack's face for that entire ambulance ride. He looked like he was in so much pain but he was peaceful at the same time. I wiped some of the hair out of his eyes but he didn't stir. I looked up at the machines and I had no idea what I was looking for. I needed some sign that he was okay but…I couldn't find one if it was taped to my forehead.

We finally made it to the hospital and they took Jack in the double doors. I held his hand for as long as I could but a nurse told me that I couldn't go back there. She asked me to wait in the waiting room and one of the doctors would be out with an update shortly. I sat down on a row of chairs and put my head in my hands. My head jerked up when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I nearly bumped heads with Beatrice.

"How is he?"

"They just took him back." I told her. She sat with me and held my hand. Not one of our classmates came to check on him; not even Angela or his "so-called" best friends showed up to the hospital. Not that I expected that from them; after all we were the "fruits". An hour of sitting in those chairs and I couldn't take it anymore. I started pacing around the waiting room.

"Damien, they're doing everything they can. He's going to be fine." Beatrice tried to reassure me.

"How do you…?" I started to ask. Jack's parents burst through the ER doors and raced to the information counter.

"Jack?! Where's our son Jack?" His mother cried.

"Mrs. Twist?" I asked. She turned and looked at me.

"Who are you?" They asked me.

"I'm uh….um…." Should I tell them? What would they think? "I'm his friend." I bowed my head I shame; I had told Jack to be honest with everyone but I couldn't even tell his parents; quite the hypocrite. The doctor finally came out.

"I'm looking for the family of Jack Twist." He asked.

"What's happened to my baby?"

"Please calm down Mrs. Twist." The doctor sighed and I didn't like that look in his eyes. "There's no easy way to say this." Mrs. Twist covered her mouth in shock and she immediately began sobbing; I wanted to as well. "Your son suffered very severe injuries as the result of his accident. He was bleeding internally and I'm afraid there's…nothing further we can do for him."

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm saying…Jack Twist…is dead." The doctor finished. Beatrice came over to me and held me tightly; for if she hadn't, I would've dropped to my knees and sobbed harder than Mrs. Twist. Beatrice pushed me towards his bed while his parents were asking the doctor about everything that happened. I found his bed and gazed at my dead lover. He had that same calm expression on his face.

I wiped the hair out of his forehead and the tears streamed down my face. I kissed his forehead and I kissed his lips for the last time.

"You!" Jack's father screamed. He stormed across the room and slapped me on the face. He struck so hard I fell to my knees, cradling my face in my hand. I looked up at his towering being, shocked. "You little piece of shit! How dare you do this to my son. You get the hell away from him!"

"How barbaric!" Jack's mother cried.

"Wait, you don't understand. Jack and I were in love with each other. I cared about Jack more than…"

"Enough!" Jack's mother slapped my opposite cheek. "How dare you! You've corrupted my son you despicable, little…barbarian."

"Please," I begged. "I just want to say goodby…"

"You've said enough. Get out of my sight and don't you ever show your face around me or my wife again. It's your fault Jack was killed in the first place." He tossed me my backpack. "The doctor said this was what Jack was going for and it's because you've brainwashed him. I've never been so disgusted in all of my life." Policeman showed up into the room and grabbed either of my elbows. "Escort him out of the hospital."

"Wait! I have to say goodbye! Jack!" The policeman took me to the ER entrance and threw me onto the pavement. Beatrice came running after me and I heard one of them call me a faggot. "I'm fine." I tried to tell her.

"Damien, I know this is bad but…maybe you should just do as they asked. They lost Jack too and they are just grieving." I got up and brushed off her hand. "Damien, where are you going?"

"There's no point in living without him Beatrice. I'm going to do the one thing that will keep me and Jack together. Forever."

She finally understood my intentions. "Damien! No! Please, don't do it Damein. You have so much to live for." I turned around and I glared at her.

"Like what?" I screamed. "I can't be me. Nobody accepts me the way I am! Everywhere I go, I get rocks thrown at my head and the love of my life was killed in a car accident because of me! I have nothing whatsoever to live for!" Out of frustration, I kicked the garbage can closest to me and sent the tin can banging on the sidewalk and tons of trash flying through the air. "It's pointless." I sobbed. "I can't live without him; I have…no other reason to live." The tears flowed freely out of my eyes and I fell to my knees. I was falling apart and I couldn't hold the pieces together no matter how hard I tried.

My whole world came crashing down on top of me. There really was nothing left for me in this life anymore, not without Jack. Beatrice knelt beside me again, despite my yelling at her and she held me tightly in her arms. "Damien, I know this hurts now but you will get through this. You're strong Damien, you can do anything. Please don't throw your life away like it means nothing. You mean something to me."

"It's not enough." I got up and started the long walk home. I know I hurt Beatrice with my words but I cared about one thing and one thing only right now and that was reuniting with Jack. Nothing Beatrice could've said would suede me from my decision. I marched right into my home, grabbed a bottle of my mother's medication, and took it upstairs to my room. I laid my backpack on the floor beside my bed. I took a glass of water in my hand and I gazed at the pill bottle in my hand.

I wanted to do this; that much was certain. But, what would Jack say when I finally did meet him again in the afterlife? Would he be angry with me? I could live with that; so long as I got to see his beautiful face, and kiss his soft lips again, I had no fear of consequences. I unscrewed the cap and dropped several pills in my hand. I took a deep breath and shoved them all into my mouth and swallowed a big gulp of water. I laid down on my bed and I waited for the darkness to overcome me.


	7. Tulsa Oklahoma Present Day

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Today was the day; the second anniversary of Jack's death. Somehow, when I was still a fledgling, it was much harder to deal with. But now, that I had completed the Change and grew into a full vampyre, I see this as Nyx intended. She told us that she would welcome us with open arms in the Otherworld as her beloved children. Jack was with her and I knew that Jack was happy being there. And I knew that someday, I would join them.

I set my keys on my end table by the front door and I walked into my apartment. Adam was not home yet and so I had some time to myself. I rested on the couch and put my feet up on my coffee table. Sitting there, just below my foot, was Jack's last birthday present for me; he got me a whole new sketchbook. Within its bindings, I had drawn many pictures of the school grounds, my group of friends, and even a few portraits of Nyx. Looking at the cover, I remembered the first time I met Jack.

It was a normal lunch period, well normal for vampyre fledglings. Our nights and days were reversed compared to a human; we had lunch at midnight while the humans slept soundly in their beds. I was seated with the twins, Shaunee and Erin, and of course Zoey and Stevie Rae as well. Our High Priestess at the time was Neferet and she had come bursting into the dining hall with Jack at her side. She introduced him to our group and asked me to show him around, informing me that he was to be my roommate. After lunch, I did just as I was asked to. I showed Jack the courtyard, the stables, the classrooms, and lastly, the dormitory.

I opened the door to my room, and now his. "This is…our room." That was awkward. Thankfully, my little Cammy strode over to Jack and began sniffing his shoes. "Oh, that's Cammy, he's my cat. He chose me shortly after I enrolled here. Isn't he precious?" I picked him up and pressed his face to mine. He squirmed a bit in my arms but he didn't whine. I let him down and he curled up next to Jack as he sat on his side of the room.

"It's nice here." Jack simply said. He sounded so nervous, I felt sorry for the poor kid. Unlike Jack, I was relieved to finally get here; my parents didn't approve of my drawings, of my homosexuality, and especially not my becoming a vampyre. Being accepted wasn't something I had until I met Zoey and the others; and for that, I would always be grateful.

"So, Jack, what activities do you like to do?" Jack didn't answer me at first but he looked around the room and spotted my library. He got up and wandered over to my case.

"You…like Harry Potter too?" He asked me, brushing his fingers along the binds of The Chamber of Secrets and further along until he stopped at my copy of Edgar Allen Poe's works. That night, we discussed books until we were blue in the face. Adam burst through the door at that moment, sending the memories flittering into the air.

"Damien, you would not believe the stories I gathered today." He sighed heavily and sat next to me on the couch. He put his feet up on the coffee table and crinkled my sketchpad. I lifted his feet so I could free it. "Oh, Damien, I'm sorry baby."

"It's okay. What did you want to tell me?" He dove into wild stories of yet another string of disappearing humans. They knew that vampyres existed but they were unsure if the bodies had any evidence of vampyre attack or if they were in fact the victims of an active serial killer. Adam told me all about the interview he had to film today and the excitement of today's story. His eyes sparkled when he talked about his job.

Adam looked down at his watch. "Oh gosh, I have to get a shower before I meet my brother for dinner." He kissed me on the lips and ran for our bathroom. I stared after him and smiled to myself. I was lucky to have met him; after losing Jack, I never thought I would be worthy of someone else. I never thought I would want anyone else either but with some encouragement from Zoey and the others, I was able to heal my heart and move on.

I laid back on the couch and stared at the ceiling fan. I waited for Adam to come home that day and distracting myself proved to be a nightmare. I couldn't think of anything other than Jack. I had moved on from Jack but part of my heart still missed him and longed to see him again and the other belonged to another man. I was thankful when Adam strolled through that front door and sat down next to me. "How was your evening sweetie?" He asked.

"It was fine." I lied.

"Damien, are you alright? You look like you've been crying." I wiped under my eyes. My fingers were wet with tears I hadn't realized I shed.

"It's Jack isn't it?" He asked.

"I'm sorry Adam." I admitted.

"Damien, don't apologize to me for that. Ever. I understand that Jack was your first love and he'll always have a place in your heart. And I know that today is the second anniversary of his death." He patted my shoulder and held me close in his arms. I remembered why I loved Adam so much; he was so understanding and loving. I didn't know what I would do without him. "By the way love, you never told me what happened."

"Well, at the time I couldn't because I was a fledgling and we weren't allowed to interact with humans. And that was before Zoey changed the rules." I smirked, thinking fondly of my dear friends. Zoey and Stark eventually got married when they went through the change and last I heard, she was still a High Priestess. I hadn't heard from Stevie Rae since she and Rephaim also tied the knot. Shaunee was doing just fine with Nicole as far as I knew; they were even traveling the world, taking in all of the sights. There was a reason I didn't keep in touch with Aphrodite and Darius; don't want to know. Adam was patiently waiting for me to tell him so I cleared my throat and began the tale.

Things were finally starting to go our way; this ritual was supposed to be a Celebration Ritual of the return home of Zoey, Stark, and Aphrodite. The rest of the gang had already taken care of most of the arrangements, so I thought I would sneak in a quick run. I put on my best workout clothes and tied my running shoes onto my feet. I jogged down to the spot where Jack was finishing the set up. He was working so hard to make his origami swords it was cute to watch. I snuck up behind him and wrapped him into my arms. He giggled.

"Damien, stop that. I'm almost done and you're breaking my concentration." He turned around and planted a soft kiss on my lips and playfully shoved me away. "Going for a run?"

I began to stretch out my hamstrings and my shoulders. "Yes. Just a quick one though, I shouldn't be long."

"Well take your time, I still have plenty to do. And not enough time to do it in." Duchess tried to help by picking some of the origami paper in her mouth. "No Duchess, don't help girl." He took the paper out of her mouth and put it back where he had it. And that was how I left him, we exchanged "I love you's", I grabbed Duchess, and I went on my jog.

I was sweating profusely, I continuously wiped sweat out of my eyes. When I rounded the corner to that tree, I saw the most horrific scene in my life. My beloved Jack was laying on the ground in a pool of his blood. His eyes were closed, with a peaceful look on his face. I grew weak in my knees and they buckled out from underneath me. "Jack! Jack! NO! Oh Jack!" I wailed. I crawled over to him and cradled his head in my hands; he was as cold as ice and it was at that moment, I knew my Jack was gone. "Oh honey, how could you leave me like this?" I looked at the claymore laying next to him. I couldn't help but feel that this was all my fault. I warned Jack not to leave that stupid sword pointed up like that. I lost my true love and I feared I would never get that back again.

"Aww Damien, I'm so sorry sweetheart." Adam kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry I made you relive that; that must have been so awful for you." He excused himself and left to meet his brother for dinner. He offered an invitation for me to join them but I respectfully declined; I told him that I was too tired to go out and not interested in eating. I laid down on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. The one thing that ran through my mind was something that I never told a single soul about; it was the day Nyx appeared to me, and only me.

After Jack died, I was inconsolable. The others were all very sad too but no one was going through what I was, but maybe only Zoey would know at this point. I did feel kind of bad for her; Jack died not too long after Heath did. Unfortunately, I felt worse for myself and it was to the point that I didn't see any reason to live anymore. I didn't tell Zoey or anyone that I was seriously contemplating offing myself. I knew that Nyx would want me to make something of my life and not mourn the dead. But there was something inside of me that just…died with him. I didn't want to be without him.

Zoey and the others left me alone at Jack's funeral pyre. I was kneeling on the ground, trying so desperately to hold back my sobs. I knew in my heart that Nyx would not approve and I felt terrible for even thinking about this but…I couldn't live anymore. I had lost the will to live without Jack by my side. What Zoey didn't know was that I had hidden a bottle of medication in my jacket pocket. I took the bottle out and twisted open the cap. In a divine light, Nyx appeared before me.

"Damien, my beloved child, what are you doing?" She asked me in her angelic, motherly voice.

"Great Goddess of Night, I know you wanted great things of me and you have truly blessed me with the Air Affinity but…" I sighed heavily, "I need Jack. I need him to breathe, he is my everything and now…I'll never see him again."

"My dear son, do not be discouraged. The love you have for each other was a beautiful thing that cannot be separated by death."

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"You'll be with him again. Some souls find each other again and again. Yours will; you have my oath on it." In a flash, Nyx revealed an all-seeing portal. She showed me flashes of another gay couple. The first one was of a couple dressed in colonial dress; the scene was by a tree and the black haired guy looked like me. And that beautiful person next to him was my beloved Jack. I watched as their relationship bloomed and survived the harshest deaths. And when I saw those faces again, overcoming the discrimination of their peers, I, myself, was overcome by their love and I felt tears fill my eyes.

I wiped my eye and before me, stood an apparition of Jack. "Jack, is that really you?"

"Yes Damien, I'm really here."

"Oh Jack, I love you so much. I don't know how I would ever get over you."

"Just let go Damien."

I was appalled by his words. "What?"

"Damien, honey, I love you too much to let you do this to yourself. You have to be here for Zoey and the others, you have to live for you. I love you too much to let you kill yourself over me. I don't want that for you; I want you to move on, and find happiness again. It's okay to let me go. Just let me go my love."

"But Jack," I began.

"Damien, if you can't do it for yourself, do it for me." Jack pleaded. "Live. Be happy." Jack disappeared and took my heart with him.

The other time Nyx appeared before me, was the moment I truly let go of my sorrow and pain. The condolences of everyone at the funeral were nothing compared to the sweet joy of knowing that Jack was in a good place and that he would be there waiting for me.

Nyx held her arms out to me and told me, "I want you to know that your Jack is with me, and he is one of the purest, most joy-filled spirits my realm has ever known."

Tears overflowed my eyes. "Thank you. Thank you for telling me that. It will help me try to get over him."

"My son, there is no need to get over Jack. Remember him, and rejoice in the brief, beautiful love you shared. Choosing to do so does not mean forgetting or getting over, it means healing."

I smiled through my tears. "I'll remember. I'll always remember and choose your path, Nyx. I give you my word." And so, I let Jack go.


End file.
